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i've moved!

new blog;



http://awaitingroomaquarium.blogspot.com

please add it as this will be were i post all new work!

for mister zachary.

i recently had the pleasure of meeting this photographer and he and i have decided to exchange some work and i made this for him and hopefully he will like it.
we also are planning to collaborate in the near future and i will be sure to let you know what comes of it.

p.s.-this drawing is relatively huge compared to what i usually do. it's an 12X18 and i usually work with like 5X7.

i hope all is well.

elephant

sound:

my first zombie/etc.

this was inspired by a lovely conversation i had last night after which i realized i had never drawn a zombie.
i figured it was about time.
so, here it is.

this is an older drawing i did a few months ago; not of anybody in particular.
these are two of the few drawings i have done without a photograph to look at.
i apologize if they are at all boring.

do you know where they go?

for the top one i used the paint program.
for the second, i used almost every possible medium.
albeit reluctanly, i even used some photoshop.
they are inspired by holden caufield in catcher in the rye who kept wondering where the ducks go in winter, when the ponds freeze.
i know they are not super-stellar but i hope you like them and
i hope to spend a great deal of time on my next drawing just as soon as i figure out what it's going to be.

take this as a sign:

one thing i thought would be really nice to do one day
is in a city like las vegas or new york
or anywhere there are lots of lighted windows in buildings
where people are lonely and awake
to have a huge sign
(one of those old style ones where you can see each individual bulb)
that says,
"hope."
just for that to be there illuminated against the dark sky
i think that may help people.
someday.
somewhere.
maybe,
maybe tonight.

that is an old idea i have had for a very long time.
so far, i am unable to do the big expensive project i had in mind.
i just don't have the knowledge or the money.
but i tried to do it on a smaller, different scale by lighting 99 candles.
(i would have used 100 but i set one down and forgot it : / )

also note: i did not use a cross-filter lens on the either photograph.
the camera magically made them appear that way on its own volition.

also also note: a cross-filter lens is the kind in commercials that make a diamond look incredibly beautiful-like light is bouncing right off of it regardless of quality. they basically make the light look like a star:

cypress island

my father, his friend and i just got back from a camping trip on one of the san juan islands.
it was pretty magical.
not the greatest photographs ever, but I FORGOT TO CHARGE MY CAMERA BATTERY!
so i had to use my old, shitty one that my father brought and i guess i made it work okay..
i hope you like them anyways.
i had a lovely time and i wanted to share.

i do not ♥ new york city

i almost got arrested there for taking a picture.
(it was near a toll booth and apparently the police were ultra-sensitive about that stuff after september 11th.)
needless to say, i still harbor some animosity towards the city..
but today i found a book of pictures of new york from the 1940's and, seeing as i adore old photographs, i found the book really lovely.
new york was a pretty neat city back then i guess.
anyways, this was based off of one of the photographs in the book.
- - - -
by the way, i really appreciated all the comments on the last post.
i am doing much, much better now.
i hope your weekend goes swimmingly.
<3j.

p.s: i am not happy with how the people turned out.
i sort of rushed towards the end there and the result was unfortunate..

i have never known

such loneliness as this.

tonight, i know the photograph i am posting is old and isn't really worthy of merit,
but i am lonely and i feel like posting.
this happens to me a lot.
maybe it is why i make art.
to strive for a connection with somebody, somewhere who is alive and feels things.
perhaps.
anyways, i digress.
forgive me.
i will try to stay on track, lest i be distracted from my loneliness.
now, as i was saying..
i am L-O-N-E-L-Y.
i once spent 11 entire months without talking to a single person other than my parents, who i lived with, and even then i barely spoke to them.

but that was different.
it was a time of self-discovery and growth. i needed that loneliness.
and i had my cat to keep me warm at night.
now, i feel more alone than any night in those 11 months.
i have seen what not being lonely is like.
(it was very beautiful.)
i have had feelings within my heart
(having them was better than any poem can say.)
and i have nothing to keep me warm tonight....

you've seen it all before

these are fairly old photographs from when i was 15, 16 and maybe even 17.
i have shown them to many people.
i like them though, and i hope you do as well, so i am sharing them once again.

stories and locations from top to bottom:

1. fall 2007. a bukowski quote.
2. my old friend, sarah. summer of 2005? in auburn, washington. we were taking our driving tests that day for driver's ed.
3. fall 2007. inspired by metempsycosis: the trans-migration of souls. NO PHOTOSHOP-i just used a really, really slow shutter speed and then turned my head so it appears as though my soul is migrating....
4. one night in the fall/winter of 2007 in renton. inspired by a neutral milk hotel song that is only 40 seconds..
5. winter of 2007. inspired by a line from nabokov's pale fire: "i was the shadow of the waxwing slain by the false azure in the windowpane."
6. a photoshop thing i did in the fall of 2007.
7. essentialy no photoshop involved in this. i did it in fall of 2007 and it was inspired by t.s. eliot: "even the abstract entities circumambulate her charm, but our lot crawls beneath dry ribs to keep our metaphysics warm."
8. sea gulls on a beach in the northern part of california summer/fall of 2007.
9. taken outside my house one lonely, lonely winter night in 2007.
10. kitty at my grandma's neighbourhood in renton, washington.
11. another kitty at the place my dad was working at at the time in enumclaw fall of 2007?
12. fisherman's grotto in san fransisco, california fall of 2007.
13. my favourite place ever: the spare bedroom of my grandma's old mobile home in renton. inspired by the line: "all that i remember is the feeling of waking up."
14. fourth of july 2007 at lake wildreness, washington.
15. in the u-district of seattle in fall 2006.
16. at the fremont sunday market in spring of 2006.
17. "leave all those bad ideas in your troubled head." july of 2007.
18. at wall drug, south dakota. in the summer of 2006 on our road trip.
19. in the hamptons, new york. en route to montauk point. in the summer of 2006 on our road trip.
20. sign in downtown seattle. fall 2006.
21. my grandma's house in cumming, georgia, also on the road trip.
22. atlantic city: it was a funny story....when i went there with my parents on our road trip across america, they went gambling and they were there in the casino only 6 minutes i bet when gambling was shut down in atlantic city. it was they only time in history it had been shut down. after we left the next day, apparently they resolved the issues that had been going on and gambling was back up and running.

spaced out

at the drive in.

i love the drive in and it is always so exciting at the snack consession counter.
kids in pajamas that are way too full of sugar and lots of popcorn.
even the movie is irrelevant.
just the experience is enough.

the world forgetting by the world forgot....

this is a scene from eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.

FOR ANOTHER SCENE FROM THE AFOREMENTIONED MOVIE:
the last drawing right HERE!!!!
- - - -
drawing is just the greatest thing ever.
really.
my friend said i shouldn't emerse myself in books and art,
but honestly, i can't think of anything i would rather be emersed in.
especially drawing people.
animals are really grand to draw as well.
but drawing people took me so long to learn and it was such a frustrating process to finally "get" how to do it that finishing a drawing of a person and making it look right is the most rewarding drawing i can do.
i vowed like a week ago when i was in the throes of loneliness and depression that i wouldn't draw any more couples or love-scenes because it made me too sad but i've rethought everything and, although i still am incredibly lonely, the reward is well worth the slight pain.
i am planning on touching it up over the course of the next week.
her hair and his mouth need some work still.
(oh and susan, i will be sending that portrait this next week as well!!)
anyways, i feel as if i have been ranting and talking too much in my posts.
so i will end in saying simply:
i hope the world is kind to you.
goodnight.

animal heaven:

this is based off a line in a song called do what you can do by the constantines:
we'll break even;
two animals on the road to animal heaven.
(i wish sometimes that i could follow)

i saw this the other day and thought it was rather magical.
fremont/seattle is at the very end!
i am not in the best of spirits at the moment so i thought i would post and share and hopefully make you smile.
goodnight.

in the aeroplane over the sea.

i have no right to entitle this post as i have.
the song by neutral milk hotel, and the whole album, in the aeroplane over the sea is one of the most beautiful things ever created. ever.
but i entitled the post as such in hopes of conveying just half of the beauty that is within the song.
i hope i have at least done that..

speed racer

well, naturally, we all adore a man with speed and a nice car.
- - - -
this was probably done when i was about 12..?
i would venture to guess somewhere around that age at least.
i am not a fan of anime at all. at all.
but i loved speed racer so when i was little.
so this was a little tribute to him.
and when i was like 16 i was in this store-in the middle of nowhere in montana or something-and they had all kinds of ephemera from the good old days like elvis, the wizard of oz, and lucy and andy griffith and they actually had a speed racer t-shirt which i purchased.
unfortunately, however, because i went through a phase where i got rid of anything even remotely juvenielle, it is no longer in my possession. : /


this week i don't know what i will be working on.
i have been reading and reading so much that i haven't really spent much time drawing.
i hope to do some drawings from scenes in eternal sunshine of the spotless mind but i cannot offer any guarantee that they will be finished within the week.

i hope all is well and that, where ever you may be, you have something to smile about.
-j.